If we had guns that shot chocolate, not only would our country be safer, it would be happier. People love chocolate.

Joe Biden, in a letter to a 2nd-grader who suggested that guns should shoot out chocolate bullets.

Mr. Vice President. If guns worked liked that, the NRA would accuse you of trying to steal Americans’ chocolate, and your administration does not need any more scandals this week.

Good news! We’ve been nominated for the Blog - Political Webby. Vote for Comedy Central’s Indecision in the 2013 Webby Awards. If we win, we promise to name Joe Biden our Secretary of Getting This Party Started.

Good news! We’ve been nominated for the Blog - Political Webby. Vote for Comedy Central’s Indecision in the 2013 Webby Awards. If we win, we promise to name Joe Biden our Secretary of Getting This Party Started.

A “longtime Obama adviser” on how former White House staffers should behave when they grow up to be lobbyists:

It’s like: Don’t embarrass yourself. You were part of something special. I think if [Obama] were to send an all-staff e-mail, it would be along the lines of Ron Burgundy — ‘Stay classy, San Diego.’

False. If anyone is going to quote Ron Burgundy it will be Joe Biden, signing off with “I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal.”
Photo by Evan Agostini/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

A “longtime Obama adviser” on how former White House staffers should behave when they grow up to be lobbyists:

It’s like: Don’t embarrass yourself. You were part of something special. I think if [Obama] were to send an all-staff e-mail, it would be along the lines of Ron Burgundy — ‘Stay classy, San Diego.’

False. If anyone is going to quote Ron Burgundy it will be Joe Biden, signing off with “I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal.”

Photo by Evan Agostini/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

hypervocal:

VEEP-OFF! Biden! Louis-Dreyfus! This happened today! There’s even an audio recording of the meeting here —> http://hypr.vc/1bluc6

Looks like Julia Louis-Dreyfus won the veep musical chairs. You’re out, Biden! 

hypervocal:

VEEP-OFF! Biden! Louis-Dreyfus! This happened today! There’s even an audio recording of the meeting here —> http://hypr.vc/1bluc6

Looks like Julia Louis-Dreyfus won the veep musical chairs. You’re out, Biden! 

Despite all the photos from the White House Easter Egg Roll, we haven’t seen a single shot of the Easter Bunny and Joe Biden together.
Just sayin’.
Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Despite all the photos from the White House Easter Egg Roll, we haven’t seen a single shot of the Easter Bunny and Joe Biden together.

Just sayin’.

Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images News/Getty Images

After visiting the Italian president yesterday (“Giorgio! What’s shakin’?”), Vice President Joe Biden, the leader of the U.S. delegation to Pope Francis’ formal installation, met the new pope earlier today. We have to pray/assume/believe it went like this:

Biden: God love ya!
Pope Francis I: That’s my line.

Photo by Tony Gentile/AFP/Getty Images

After visiting the Italian president yesterday (“Giorgio! What’s shakin’?”), Vice President Joe Biden, the leader of the U.S. delegation to Pope Francis’ formal installation, met the new pope earlier today. We have to pray/assume/believe it went like this:

Biden: God love ya!

Pope Francis I: That’s my line.

Photo by Tony Gentile/AFP/Getty Images

“Don’t tell me Democrats are the party of the future when their presidential ticket for 2016 is shaping up to look like a re-run of the Golden Girls” - Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY), speaking at CPAC.
At 71, McConnell is older than Joe Biden (totally Blanche Devereaux!) and Hillary Clinton, so we’re not sure what he’s talking about.
Instead of being agist and sexist, maybe he’s just angry that Hillary’s campaigns are the one thing gays care as much about as the Golden Girls.
Photo by Todd Williamson/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Don’t tell me Democrats are the party of the future when their presidential ticket for 2016 is shaping up to look like a re-run of the Golden Girls” - Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY), speaking at CPAC.

At 71, McConnell is older than Joe Biden (totally Blanche Devereaux!) and Hillary Clinton, so we’re not sure what he’s talking about.

Instead of being agist and sexist, maybe he’s just angry that Hillary’s campaigns are the one thing gays care as much about as the Golden Girls.

Photo by Todd Williamson/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Well, well, look who has a new official portrait.
Say what you will about Joe Biden: The man knows how to brush his teeth.

Well, well, look who has a new official portrait.

Say what you will about Joe Biden: The man knows how to brush his teeth.