An Exclusive Interview with Richard III’s Corpse [EXCLUSIVE]

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Indecision: Thanks for being here.

Richard III: Don’t thank me. Thank those professional hole-diggers.

Indecision: You mean archaeologists?

Richard III: Whatever you call them. I call them eternally cursed for disturbing my remains. Ha!

Indecision: So, we have to ask, what was it like being the last British king to die in battle?

Richard III: Kind of an honor. But not as much fun as gunning people down from a heavier-than-air flying machine. Today’s royal family has all the fun.

Indecision: That raises an interesting question. What do you think of the British monarchy now?

Richard III: Eh. William’s all right. But it’s a shame about those topless photos of Kate. In my day, paparazzi would have to wait in the bushes for hours with a paintbrush.

Indecision: Fascinating. Tell us, now that you’re back, what’s your favorite piece of British culture?

Richard III: Four words: The Saturdays. Hubba hubba!

Indecision: Any final thoughts?

Richard III: To the people who dug me up, listen. Acting out that scene from Hamlet with my skull is funny maybe the first time. It’s time to move on.

reuters:

Prime Minister David Cameron accidentally left his daughter behind in a country pub after a Sunday lunch with friends following a mix-up over which car she was meant to be going home in, his Downing Street office said on Monday.
Cameron was swiftly reunited with 8-year-old Nancy, one of his three young children, but the incident will add fuel to critics who accuse him of being overly fond of relaxing, or “chillaxing” as he has called it, when not dealing with affairs of state.
Its disclosure in the Sun newspaper has the potential to embarrass Cameron, coming on the day the government launched a fresh drive to tackle “problem families” who lead chaotic lives and cost taxpayers millions of pounds in policing and welfare costs.
Cameron and his wife Samantha only discovered their eldest child was missing when they returned to their official country residence, Chequers in Buckinghamshire, 40 miles northwest of London.
READ MORE: British PM Cameron leaves daughter behind in pub 

British Prime Ministers! They’re just like us!

reuters:

Prime Minister David Cameron accidentally left his daughter behind in a country pub after a Sunday lunch with friends following a mix-up over which car she was meant to be going home in, his Downing Street office said on Monday.

Cameron was swiftly reunited with 8-year-old Nancy, one of his three young children, but the incident will add fuel to critics who accuse him of being overly fond of relaxing, or “chillaxing” as he has called it, when not dealing with affairs of state.

Its disclosure in the Sun newspaper has the potential to embarrass Cameron, coming on the day the government launched a fresh drive to tackle “problem families” who lead chaotic lives and cost taxpayers millions of pounds in policing and welfare costs.

Cameron and his wife Samantha only discovered their eldest child was missing when they returned to their official country residence, Chequers in Buckinghamshire, 40 miles northwest of London.

READ MORE: British PM Cameron leaves daughter behind in pub 

British Prime Ministers! They’re just like us!