Indecision: Thanks for being here.
Richard III: Don’t thank me. Thank those professional hole-diggers.
Indecision: You mean archaeologists?
Richard III: Whatever you call them. I call them eternally cursed for disturbing my remains. Ha!
Indecision: So, we have to ask, what was it like being the last British king to die in battle?
Richard III: Kind of an honor. But not as much fun as gunning people down from a heavier-than-air flying machine. Today’s royal family has all the fun.
Indecision: That raises an interesting question. What do you think of the British monarchy now?
Richard III: Eh. William’s all right. But it’s a shame about those topless photos of Kate. In my day, paparazzi would have to wait in the bushes for hours with a paintbrush.
Indecision: Fascinating. Tell us, now that you’re back, what’s your favorite piece of British culture?
Richard III: Four words: The Saturdays. Hubba hubba!
Indecision: Any final thoughts?
Richard III: To the people who dug me up, listen. Acting out that scene from Hamlet with my skull is funny maybe the first time. It’s time to move on.