Mitt Romney appeared like a kid who showed up for his science project and the teacher said, ‘Explain it,’ and Mitt couldn’t do it. His ‘dad,’ Paul Ryan, explained it to him, but Mitt didn’t get it… That’s why we lost the last election.
“
| — |
No, Mitt Romney lost because he was the kid who insisted that 47% of the science fair geeks had their model volcanoes made by the government. |
Some people could marry but choose to take more time, they say, for themselves….They’re going to miss so much of living, I’m afraid. If you meet a person you love, get married. Have a quiver full of kids if you can.
“
| — |
Quiverfull is a pretty controversial religious movement that eschews all forms of birth control, so that’s a touchy reference. Can’t we just have a binder full of kids? |
Curiously, the speaker list for Mitt Romney’s $5K/plate retreat in Utah this June includes David Axelrod.*
Either the Obama campaign adviser defected, or he wants to add insult to injury by dropping Mitt in the trust fall exercise.
Photo by Emmanuel Dunand/Getty Images
* Not curiously, Mitt Romney thinks five thousand dollars is a reasonable price for food.
![Willard Mitt Romney offered some thoughts on his grandchildren’s names while speaking with Dennis Miller. It’s worth unpacking this gem:
“A few months ago we had twins come in (1), and you can’t believe what they’re named: Winston and Eleanor (2). [Laughs.] (3) I mean, it’s going back to the glorious days of the thirties and forties (4), I guess. But these are just darling little infants, and to have such big names on them is really something, although they call them Ellie and Win … When I heard Winston and Eleanor, I thought, It sounds like two English bulldogs (5), but they’re adorable children.”
1. Like from a catalog? Were they having a two-for-one special?
2. Say it with me: “Willard. Mitt. Romney.” You don’t get to poke fun at anyone else’s name, Willard, Father of Tagg.
3. “An old-timey name. Ha ha ha, marvelous!”
4. Some terms you might have used to describe two decades of war and depression besides “glorious”: traumatic, agonizing, brutal.
5. Okay, this is true and adorable. You win this round, Willard.
Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images](http://24.media.tumblr.com/f7432061452d2db945cb48251306c916/tumblr_mkfd5xLxHg1rqe76qo1_500.jpg)
Willard Mitt Romney offered some thoughts on his grandchildren’s names while speaking with Dennis Miller. It’s worth unpacking this gem:
“A few months ago we had twins come in (1), and you can’t believe what they’re named: Winston and Eleanor (2). [Laughs.] (3) I mean, it’s going back to the glorious days of the thirties and forties (4), I guess. But these are just darling little infants, and to have such big names on them is really something, although they call them Ellie and Win … When I heard Winston and Eleanor, I thought, It sounds like two English bulldogs (5), but they’re adorable children.”
1. Like from a catalog? Were they having a two-for-one special?
2. Say it with me: “Willard. Mitt. Romney.” You don’t get to poke fun at anyone else’s name, Willard, Father of Tagg.
3. “An old-timey name. Ha ha ha, marvelous!”
4. Some terms you might have used to describe two decades of war and depression besides “glorious”: traumatic, agonizing, brutal.
5. Okay, this is true and adorable. You win this round, Willard.
Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Thursday’s Links: Political Photoshopping
* Mitt Romney loves chasing balls.
* You know what they say about dictatorships with big fleets…
* The U.S. has a long and cheeky history of political cartoons.
* Some lesser plagues of ancient Egypt that didn’t make the cut.
* The answers to these recently-released NSA cryptograms are [redacted].
* Yeah, yeah, yeah, they run everything, but which world leader is the best-dressed?
* This cool science video is also what it looks like when Congress tries to adopt meaningful legislation.
Mitt Romney just addressed the crowd at CPAC:
Romney: “We need the ideas and leadership of each of these governors. We particularly need to hear from the Governors of the blue and purple states, like Bob McDonnell, Scott Walker, John Kasich, Susanna Martinez, Chris Christie, and Brian Sandoval because their states are among those we must win to take the Senate and the White House.”
Audience at CPAC: APPLAUSE!
So the only thing Mitt Romney needed to do to win cheers from conservatives is to name a bunch of people who are not Mitt Romney.
“Of course. Of course we can defeat Barack Obama. That’s the easy part.” - Mitt Romney, speaking at last year’s Conservative Political Action Conference. This year’s CPAC starts today.
Can’t wait to hear how beating Obama went from being easy peasy lemon squeezy to difficult, difficult, lemon difficult.
Silly Mitt, you don’t have to give us presents on your birthday! But we’re super grateful you and Tagg gave all of us this incredible picture. Fluffernutter cupcakes FTW.
