Pictured: historic summit between a Google Glass-wearing Newt Gingrich and Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY).
Photos via Bill Clark/CQ Roll Call/Getty Images and @newtgingrich

Pictured: historic summit between a Google Glass-wearing Newt Gingrich and Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY).

Photos via Bill Clark/CQ Roll Call/Getty Images and @newtgingrich

Two politicians, neither of them named Newt Gingrich, want to put a national park on the moon:

The bill from Reps. Donna Edwards (D-Md.) and Eddie Bernice Johnson (D-Texas) would create the Apollo Lunar Landing Sites National Historical Park. The park would be comprised of all artifacts left on the surface of the moon from the Apollo 11 through 17 missions.
The bill says these sites need to be protected because of the anticipated increase in commercial moon landings in the future.

Leave it to Democrats to mock Newt’s moon base, then suggest a fancy lunar national park.
But wait, a NATIONAL park? Does this mean America owns the moon? That’s an idea Republicans could get behind. Moon Ranger Newt, report for duty!
Photo by SSPL/Getty Images

Two politicians, neither of them named Newt Gingrich, want to put a national park on the moon:

The bill from Reps. Donna Edwards (D-Md.) and Eddie Bernice Johnson (D-Texas) would create the Apollo Lunar Landing Sites National Historical Park. The park would be comprised of all artifacts left on the surface of the moon from the Apollo 11 through 17 missions.

The bill says these sites need to be protected because of the anticipated increase in commercial moon landings in the future.

Leave it to Democrats to mock Newt’s moon base, then suggest a fancy lunar national park.

But wait, a NATIONAL park? Does this mean America owns the moon? That’s an idea Republicans could get behind. Moon Ranger Newt, report for duty!

Photo by SSPL/Getty Images

"Okay, Glass, how do I get to the moon base?"

"Now show me zoo animals."

Photo via @llsethj

"Okay, Glass, how do I get to the moon base?"

"Now show me zoo animals."

Photo via @llsethj

In today’s episode of Newt Gingrich’s Big Ideas, our favorite space visionary/white-haired hippopotamus shares these deep thoughts while holding up a smartphone:

1. What you simpletons “probably think is a cell phone” is not a cell phone.

2. "If it’s taking pictures, it’s not a cell phone."

3. “If you can get Wikipedia or go to Google, that’s not a cell phone.”

4. We need a new name to describe this miraculous device that lets us listen to Newt Gingrich’s ideas on Youtube.

Next, Newt wants your help thinking up a name for the long stretch of metal and concrete that lets people drive over water.

Larry Flynt has endorsed former governor/trail hiker Mark Sanford in South Carolina’s Congressional race, saying that “No one has done more to expose the sexual hypocrisy of traditional values in America today.”

Shocking!

It seems Larry Flynt has never heard of Newt Gingrich.

We almost had what Newt Gingrich would’ve called a “profoundly, fundamentally trans-formative moment” in the 2012 campaign.
According to Businessweek, Gingrich and Rick Santorum nearly agreed to form a “Unity Ticket” in a last ditch effort to win the GOP nomination from Mitt Romney. There was just one problem with a joint ticket between a candidate who loved family values and the candidate who just loved having lots of families:

…the negotiations collapsed in acrimony because Gingrich and Santorum could not agree on who would get to be president.  

Easy answer: neither. Neither of you gets to be president.
Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images/Getty Images News

We almost had what Newt Gingrich would’ve called a “profoundly, fundamentally trans-formative moment” in the 2012 campaign.

According to Businessweek, Gingrich and Rick Santorum nearly agreed to form a “Unity Ticket” in a last ditch effort to win the GOP nomination from Mitt Romney. There was just one problem with a joint ticket between a candidate who loved family values and the candidate who just loved having lots of families:

…the negotiations collapsed in acrimony because Gingrich and Santorum could not agree on who would get to be president.  

Easy answer: neither. Neither of you gets to be president.

Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images/Getty Images News

No, he’s not counting off the reasons he dropped out. He doesn’t have enough fingers for that. 

No, he’s not counting off the reasons he dropped out. He doesn’t have enough fingers for that.

 

Say goodnight, Newt.
See the whole book here.

Say goodnight, Newt.

See the whole book here.