Everything has turned on the president.

At a House hearing on IRS probes of conservative groups, former acting IRS Commissioner Steve Miller and Treasury Inspector General J. Russell George learned what everyone else already knew.

At a House hearing on IRS probes of conservative groups, former acting IRS Commissioner Steve Miller and Treasury Inspector General J. Russell George learned what everyone else already knew.

This is Rob Ford.
He is (somehow) the mayor of Toronto.
His pastimes include being kicked out of military balls for drunkenness, getting busted with weed while vacationing in Florida, and leading a very un-Canadian crusade against cyclists, poor people and politeness.
There is now a video of Ford — or someone who looks exactly like him — smoking crack cocaine, which 1) explains a lot about the mayor’s other behavior and 2) is way healthier than many Canadians’ poutine habit.
Photo by Andrew Francis Wallace/Toronto Star/Getty Images

This is Rob Ford.

He is (somehow) the mayor of Toronto.

His pastimes include being kicked out of military balls for drunkenness, getting busted with weed while vacationing in Florida, and leading a very un-Canadian crusade against cyclists, poor people and politeness.

There is now a video of Ford — or someone who looks exactly like him — smoking crack cocaine, which 1) explains a lot about the mayor’s other behavior and 2) is way healthier than many Canadians’ poutine habit.

Photo by Andrew Francis Wallace/Toronto Star/Getty Images

The gentleman has cast aspersions on my asparagus.

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX), regarding Attorney General Eric Holder.

Some possibilities: 

1. Louie Gohmert’s nickname for his integrity is “asparagus.” As in, “I dare anyone to question my asparagus.”

2. Louie Gohmert suffers from a rare brain disease that makes him speak exclusively in alliteration.

3. Louie Gohmert keeps a bag of asparagus in his desk, and Eric Holder has complained about it, and the congressman decided to bring this up during a hearing.

Maybe all of the above.

This is Nico. He’s the grandson of Rep. Mel Watt (D-NC). He wasn’t allowed to question Attorney General Eric Holder at this afternoon’s House Judiciary Committee hearing.
But if he was, Nico would’ve had the guts to ask what Holder knew about Dora the Explorer’s Mystery of the Missing Shoes and when he knew it.
Photo via Jennifer Epstein

This is Nico. He’s the grandson of Rep. Mel Watt (D-NC). He wasn’t allowed to question Attorney General Eric Holder at this afternoon’s House Judiciary Committee hearing.

But if he was, Nico would’ve had the guts to ask what Holder knew about Dora the Explorer’s Mystery of the Missing Shoes and when he knew it.

Photo via Jennifer Epstein

House Speaker/Old West posse leader John Boehner wants some IRS varmints thrown in jail for running CTRL+F “tea party” “patriot” on a list of tax-exempt applications.
Never mind that none of the groups had their tax-exempt status revoked! John Boehner is certain that “somebody violated the law.”
If there’s one thing Boehner holds sacred, it’s America’s laws. Now excuse him while he tries to repeal the health care law for the 37th time.
Photos by Alex Wong/Getty Images News and Doug Berry/E+/Getty Images

House Speaker/Old West posse leader John Boehner wants some IRS varmints thrown in jail for running CTRL+F “tea party” “patriot” on a list of tax-exempt applications.

Never mind that none of the groups had their tax-exempt status revoked! John Boehner is certain that “somebody violated the law.”

If there’s one thing Boehner holds sacred, it’s America’s laws. Now excuse him while he tries to repeal the health care law for the 37th time.

Photos by Alex Wong/Getty Images News and Doug Berry/E+/Getty Images

Google found the one person who might look saner while wearing Google Glass.
Photo via @LukeRussert

Google found the one person who might look saner while wearing Google Glass.

Photo via @LukeRussert

I think I can say that I feel confident in that, but I, you know, I don’t have any.

WH Press Secretary Jay Carney, after being asked “what gives you the confidence” that no administration officials were involved in the IRS scrutiny of conservative-y sounding groups.

Carney deserves an Oscar for his performance as Guy Who Pretends to “Appreciate Your Question.”

If we had guns that shot chocolate, not only would our country be safer, it would be happier. People love chocolate.

Joe Biden, in a letter to a 2nd-grader who suggested that guns should shoot out chocolate bullets.

Mr. Vice President. If guns worked liked that, the NRA would accuse you of trying to steal Americans’ chocolate, and your administration does not need any more scandals this week.

Attention gay couples looking to get hitched: Minnesota will marry you so good! 
By a vote of 37 to 30, the state senate OK’d the marriage equality bill, and the governor promises to put his fabulous signature on it ASAP.
This makes Minnesota the 12th state to legalize same-sex marriage, bringing us closer to the day when the most controversial thing about gay weddings will be deciding who gets to design the cake. 
Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Attention gay couples looking to get hitched: Minnesota will marry you so good! 

By a vote of 37 to 30, the state senate OK’d the marriage equality bill, and the governor promises to put his fabulous signature on it ASAP.

This makes Minnesota the 12th state to legalize same-sex marriage, bringing us closer to the day when the most controversial thing about gay weddings will be deciding who gets to design the cake. 

Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images